How to Deal With Negative and Hateful Blog Comments and Emails

by Mavis Nong on February 6, 2012

How to Deal With Negative and Hateful Blog Comments and EmailsBlog comments contribute largely to your blogging success.

It’s important to create a buzz on your blog, encourage your readers to comment so you can interact with them.

If you have no activity or your blog, then you’ll have very little traffic or none for that matter.

Now, as your blog starts to grow, you’ll start receiving negative comments as well.

That’s ok. You cannot expect everyone to agree with you all the time.

We All Have Different Views

You have to realise that sometimes people will not agree with your content or ideas and that should not put you off at all.

Imagine if we all agreed on each and everything under the sun… Life would be boring, wouldn’t it?

Let people express their own views and respond to them with respect and professionalism. Never flame your commenters even if they do you.

Thing is, a debate on your blog generates a lot of traffic and encourages discussion. It’s always interesting to see different sides on one topic. So, different views are great for your blog.

Now, there’s a difference between a commenter disagreeing with your views and being very disrespectful, trying to tear you down.

How to Deal With Hateful and Disrespectful Comments

A few days ago, I received the most disrespectful and hateful comment on my blog ever.

You can see it here:

As you can see, the commenter was plain disrespectful and rude, without presenting any valid points. He was out to tear me down.

So, how did I handle it?

I’m going to share with you exactly what I did so you’ll know what to do IF it happens to you too.

Why I Approved a Disrespectful and Hateful Comment on my Blog

You’re probably wondering why didn’t I just delete it and forget that I never saw it, just like one of my friends suggested.

Yes, I could have done that – easily. But here’s why I chose not to:

1. 1 disrespectful and hateful comment out of 13,302 meaningful comments on my blog would NOT break me! It means NOTHING.

How to Deal With Negative and Hateful Blog Comments and Emails

2. The same comment was left in one of the Linkedin groups and also appeared on his Facebook wall. I have no idea where else! So, deleting it on my blog would be pointless.

3. All top leaders say that when you start receiving negative and hateful comments, you have made it! If you’re doing everything right, then you have nothing to worry about.

4. Hateful comments do nothing to you but negatively affect the commenter as they’re showing the world the kind of person they truly are.

5. As my blog continues to grow from strengths to strengths, I’m likely to receive more of these comments, so I need to learn how to deal with them the right and professional way.

6. I have thousands of visitors who come to my blog EVERY DAY, no exceptions. And, I keep getting positive comments all day long, even on my old blog posts. What does this say about this commenter?

7. I’m successful even in the commenter’s eyes and he can’t stand it! He just proved that I’m growing as a blogger and entrepreneur. I’m doing something right.

8. The blog traffic stats and rankings that I shared with my readers are a true reflection of my blog’s performance. I have nothing to hide.

How I Responded to a Disrespectful and Hateful Comment

One of the key responsibilities of a blogger is to respond to your readers’ comments. This encourages ongoing interaction and even more comments.

However, with this particular comment I did want to engage with him and entertain his false accusations. If he presented valid points, then that would have been a different story. I’d respond to them.

I visited his two months old blog and I was absolutely shocked by what I saw, for someone who claims to know it all, with “25 years marketing experience”.

So, I didn’t respond to his accusations. How can I engage with someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about? He should lead by example, right?

I thanked him for his comment and mentioned that there were no inaccuracies or deficiencies to respond to and advised him to focus on his blog and business as I’m doing perfectly fine.

You can see my responses here:

What About Rude Emails?

It’s not only about negative blog comments. Some people on your list can start sending you nasty emails, accusing you of all sorts of things, to tear you down.

It’s not nice when people say horrible things to or about you, when you’re doing everything right and running your business with integrity.

So, what should you do when you receive nasty emails?

I still remember when this happened to me for the first time, a couple of years ago. I was upset and shattered. When I told my mentor, he said: “Don’t respond! Never engage losers!… You’re a brilliant marketer, don’t take it personally”. And that made me feel better.

There are 3 things you should do when your subscriber is rude, swearing at you and so on:

1. Get them off your list

a) Go to your Aweber account. Then click on the “Subscibers” tab and choose “Unsubscribe”.

b) Enter their email address in the box.

c) Unsubscribe them from your list and block them by checking the appropriate boxes.

How to Deal With Negative and Hateful Blog Comments and Emails

Or

If they just replied to the email that you sent them, scroll down to the bottom of the email, then you’ll find the unsubscribe link. Make use of it and get them off your list. They are clearly not interested in what you have to offer and they don’t respect you at all.

2. Do NOT respond. Don’t argue or fight with people.

3. Delete the email – you don’t want negativity around you.

Key Takeaway

Not everyone is going to agree with the views that you express on your blog. If everyone agrees, then you should be worried.

And, as your blog or business continues to grow, you’ll start receiving disrespectful and hateful blog comments or emails. Do NOT let them get to you. It’s a sign that you’re doing very well and some people can’t stand it!

On the contrary, this should inspire you to keep doing what you’re doing. As long as you’re doing everything right and are acting with integrity, you have NOTHING to worry about. I mean absolutely NOTHING.

Your Turn:

  • Do you get negative blog comments and email?
  • How do you deal with them?

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How to Deal With Negative and Hateful Blog Comments and Emails
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This Post Brought To You By Mavis Nong

Mavis Nong is the creator and author of Attraction Marketing Online. She is on a mission to help you to add the key ingredients for success in your business with her "Online Marketing Success Formula" report. Get it NOW!

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{ 74 comments… read them below or add one }

Kenny Fabre February 6, 2012 at 2:33 PM

Mavis

I have not gotten any negative comments yet, but I dont really care for negative comments anyways
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Mavis Nong February 6, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Okay.

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Tushar February 8, 2012 at 5:24 AM

I would love getting negative comments on my blog. These tell me how well I am doing in others eyes and how much they envy me.
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Eddie Gear from SEO for blogs February 6, 2012 at 2:49 PM

Great tips to deal with negative and bad remarks. I generally look into comments and feedback as long as they are constructive. If I find that my work is not good enough I work towards improving them. However, there are some really stingy people who want everything for free and when they get free stuff they crib about it. I guess you should just ignore people like that.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:17 PM

Don’t entertain people who are out to destroy you, especially if they don’t have any valid points to back their claims.

Thanks for the visit and comment, Eddie.

Best,
Mavis
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Ana from Increase Web Traffic February 6, 2012 at 3:58 PM

I think you dealt perfectly with that comment, Mavis.

I know how much this hurts no matter how unjust it was… We still love you though!
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Thanks very much, my friend. I appreciate YOU :)

Best,
Mavis
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kiki February 6, 2012 at 5:22 PM

This is a great post Mavis. I just saw the comment in question and the guy was something else, especially if he had nothing to back it up with from his own stats. Every one is of course entitles to their opinion, but if they cannot express it in a professional way, then they really have no business expressing it, let alone taking the time to post it on your blog, proving he is in fact, one of the MANY thousands that visit your posts and read them!

keep up the great work Mavis. love your work and learn plenty from you. i look forward to some guest posting back and forth when the time comes! ;-)

bless,

kx
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Thanks very much for your kind words and encouragement, Kiki.

This statement is SO true: “If you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say it all.”

I look forward to your guest posts ;)

Best,
Mavis
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Steve from Affiliate Marketing Tips February 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM

Mavis,

I think you dealt with it perfectly. The only comments I delete are spam and comments that attack people personally rather than an opinion (which I have not gotten…but I would delete)

People can have differing opinions (and sometimes both sides can hold some “truth”) but this guy was solely out to attack, not to offer anything really constructive. Getting in a mud-slinging competition with someone like that would just lower you to their level.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:29 PM

Thanks very much, Steve. Agreed, he was out to attack me, if he had any valid claims, it would be a different matter altogether. His unprofessional approach didn’t do him any justice.

Best,
Mavis
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Michael Burns February 6, 2012 at 8:24 PM

Haven’t gotten anyyet. I plan to simply ignore them. Every comment on my blog has to be approved, at least for now anyway.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:30 PM

They’re coming, Michael ;)
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Michael Burns February 14, 2012 at 4:37 AM

Oh I’m sure they are at some point. That’s ok. I’m a big boy. I can handle some bad language. :)
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Lynda Cromar February 6, 2012 at 8:40 PM

Thank you Mavis I found this especially helpful that not only did you show that you had received some negative feedback but what you did and others can do about it. It definitely doesn’t have to shatter you but you do have to have a plan on how to deal with it! I have indeed had those reactions and they do throw you when you first have them. I think especially because you are working so hard to bring high value to people and that is not the reaction that you are expecting!
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:32 PM

Agreed, Lynda. It’s hard to deal with them when you’re starting out. Hopefully this post will help many marketers :)

Best,
Mavis
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Stacy February 6, 2012 at 9:20 PM

Hi Mavis,

You handled that insane comment very well! I’ve received very few negative comments, I always look at it from the perspective that the other person is not where I’m at and I try to be pleasant and perhaps point them toward one of my personal development posts.

Over the weekend I got a comment that wasn’t exactly negative but a little snarky in tone. I’m giving away a new free ebook with “pay with a tweet” and one faceless commenter made a snarky comment about only having a G+ account and being left out of the free ebook. I told her that if she wanted to share my post on G+ I would be happy to email her a copy of the book. (It’s a book on affirmations, it could definitely help her out!)

Keep up the good work, Mavis!

Stacy
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:38 PM

Thanks very much for your kind words and encouragement, Stacy.

Agreed, we need to be professional at all times, even if our readers/commenters are not!

I look forward to your guest post ;)

Best,
Mavis
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David Harman February 6, 2012 at 9:27 PM

Mavis, you are a pure monarch, a real Queen of blogging; regal, serene and in power! Rock on!!

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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 9:16 AM

Wow, wow! Thank you SO much for your kind words and encouragement, David :)

Best,
Mavis

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Tony Clingan February 6, 2012 at 10:34 PM

Having had a look at his comment I can only see everybody coming down 100% on your side, you are right in the end he can only do himself harm by doing what he is doing

Thanks for sharing Tony
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 9:16 AM

I couldn’t agree with you more, Tony.

All the best,
Mavis

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Sandy Moore February 7, 2012 at 12:08 AM

Hi Mavis, only just saw the offending comment and feel you handled it like the professional you are.

Couldn’t help but to also leave a comment and direction on the post you were referring to.

I also would have approved the comment Mavis because everyone is entitled to an opinion and in this case the writer showed his true colours.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:41 PM

Agreed, Sandy. His rude comment has nothing to do with me, but everything to do him. He has shown the world the kind of person he truly is.

Thanks for the visit and comment, my friend :)

Best,
Mavis
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Christine Brady February 7, 2012 at 2:03 AM

Hi Mavis,

Wow! I am completely taken aback at the level of thought that goes into a rude or disrespectful comment, such as the one you described!

I have gotten rude comments before and I just deleted them, but after reading your post, I may think twice about it -

You’re right, if someone cares (is that the right word?!) enough to write a thought-out comment about their dislike of me AND submit it after I’ve just shown them the kind of traffic I get… I think I would publish it :)
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:28 PM

I couldn’t agree with you more, Christine. If you disagree with someone, let them know in a professional way.

Thanks for the visit and comment.

Best,
Mavis
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Sylviane Nuccio February 7, 2012 at 3:10 AM

Great advice, Mavis.

Usually people who are rude prove one thing and one thing first and foremost, they are not “professional” people. No matter how much you will disagree with another blogger, you never, ever want to sound like an idiot on a comment. How in the world this going to help the person leaving the rude comment? There is no way that it will.

However, it helped you in some way! You had your next blog idea all canned for you ;) Great idea in using that!
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:55 PM

Thanks, Sylviane. Welcome to my blog! :)

Agreed, their rude comment is not going to help them in any way. Who would want to follow someone like that? I wouldn’t!

Yes, a great blog post idea to help my readers :D

Best,
Mavis
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Harleena Singh February 7, 2012 at 6:26 AM

Wonderful tips Mavis!

I have just had a couple of comments on my blog that were not really pleasant ones, but I approved them as well, just to let the commenter know that I am alright with sharing his view with others, as it really didn’t bother me, as I felt those were his views and he has a right to express them. I was polite enough to reply to the best of my abilities and thanked him for sharing his views. But yes, those were just a few of such comments!

I still have to make it up there as you say or know that I am on the right path when I start getting more of such negative comments :) However, they really don’t bother me that much as I feel those people are expressing their views or are not really able to relate to what I am trying to say.

Thanks so much for sharing such wonderful tips that I am surely going to remember :)
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 9:51 PM

You’re welcome, Harleena. Agreed, we shouldn’t let negative comments get to us. The key is to know how to deal with them when we receive them.

Best,
Mavis
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Jane from Thesis theme review February 7, 2012 at 6:34 AM

Mavis, you’ve just dealt with it the right way. As to disrespectful emails, I used to be idiotic earlier and try to respond and make them “understand” stuff. That’s when I was a newbie. But now, I just delete the email and delete them from my list too!

We’ve got so much to do. We’re not here to deal with these kinda people. I see it as a waste of time!
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 3:01 PM

It’s a complete waste of time to engage with losers, Jane. We have better things to do.

Best,
Mavis
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Paul Ingram February 7, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Great post Mavis – I have never understood why people take the effort in writing such negative comments, if only they diverted that energy to a better use they would see some great things come their way.

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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM

I couldn’t agree with you more, Paul. They can’t stand to see others successful, that’s all.

Best,
Mavis
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Dan Lew February 7, 2012 at 12:13 PM

It’s really important that we should deal with these negative and hateful comments in our own blogs. To make it so simple, just don’t fire back something negative to them but may thank them for their opinions.

Dan Lew
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:59 PM

That’s the way to go, Dan. Great to see you here :)

Best,
Mavis
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DiTesco February 7, 2012 at 1:47 PM

IMO, you dealt pretty well with “eric” Mavis and I a still unsure why he tried to put you down by making that useless, and unfounded comment. I saw once a quote that is so true and this one applies in this case..

“If someone is trying to put you down, it is because you are above them”.. need I say more
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Well said, DiTesco. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement :)

Best,
Mavis
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Steve February 7, 2012 at 1:54 PM

Thanks Mavis for this incisive post on how to handle hate email or comments. I had not have any issues like this before since i started my blogging business. Maybe because i’ am still learning the ropes in the business.

But i will keep this in swipe file for future reference and send it to some of m friends in order to know how to respond to this kind of hate comments online.

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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 2:57 PM

This will definitely help you in the future, Steve.

Welcome to my blog!

Mavis
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Sonia February 7, 2012 at 5:33 PM

I have seen some blogs that have given in to those insults and it didn’t end too well either. The funny part is the person making the comment was anonymous (no surprise). Comments aren’t always going to agree with you and the ones that disagree can offer a great perspective providing it’s not directed at others to harm or sound ignorant. You can get some great ideas on how to keep the conversation going or use it as another post idea while exploring their comment more fully.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff and you can’t please everyone. The sooner people realize that the less words hurt. The key is responding with tact and turning it around to make it work for you.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 7:32 PM

Agreed, Sonia. Never give in and let bad comments get to you. That’s exactly what people behind bad comments want to see.

Life is too short indeed :)

Thanks for your visit and input.

Best,
Mavis

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Tanisha February 7, 2012 at 8:15 PM

Boy with all the value you provide I need to be on your blog more and get some of your traffic …keep rocking i always make sure i put a nice comment smiles.
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 9:28 PM

Thanks, Tanisha.
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Tanja Passin February 7, 2012 at 9:38 PM

I saw his comment and I think you handled it very well Mavis. In a way his negative comment even helped your blog grab even more attention on the positive rather than the negative. So his intentions actually back fired on him. I think people should show respect with their comments whether they agree with the blogger or not. It’s simply called “manners.”
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Mavis Nong February 7, 2012 at 9:47 PM

Thanks, Tanja. I couldn’t agree with you more. He has shown the world his true colours.

Best,
Mavis

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James Pruitt February 7, 2012 at 10:57 PM

If you haven’t pissed anyone off yet, you need to ask yourself what you are doing wrong. Great way to deal with negative comments Mavis :) Goes with the old saying, if you try to please everyone you wind up pleasing noone. Focus on the people who want your help, and don’t waste energy with people who don’t want to.

OF course, I have had bad days myself in the past and left comments better left unsaid. at least I had the guts to go back later and apologize and admit that I was in the wrong.

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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:33 PM

Agreed, James. We can’t please everyone. And, there’s no point in engaging with people who are to trash you for no reason whatsoever.

Best,
Mavis
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Ilka Flood February 8, 2012 at 2:57 AM

Hi Mavis,

Wow, I’m really late to this party :)

I so agree with everything you said above. Great advice! Do not engage with negativity it’s really not worth your time. Some people are just flat out rude.

Sorry this all happened to such a nice young lady. But I’m really glad to see you handled it in such professional manner. Good for you!

Be blessed,

Ilka
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:53 PM

Welcome to the party, Ilka! Better late than never :D

Thanks very much. It’s a lesson to all of us. We should be prepared for comments like this.

Best,
Mavis
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Carissa Dunphy February 8, 2012 at 7:49 AM

Such a bad topic to have to cover, yet you did with such professionalism and grace. I love your reasons for not being offended or arguing online for everyone to see.
Even though it’s a bad comment, it is a comment and that person read your blog! :)
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:50 PM

I just could not delete it, Carissa. The key is to respond in a professional way.

Welcome to my blog! :)

Best,
Mavis
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Linda February 8, 2012 at 12:10 PM

Mavis just ignore these kind of people ..there is always an interruption in out good deeds ..we cant change certain people but instead we can ignore them ..you are really an awesome writer ..keep on rocking with your blog ..

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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:35 PM

Thanks very much, Linda. Welcome to my blog! :)

Best,
Mavis
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Puneet February 9, 2012 at 7:25 AM

we should not delete hateful comments, we should tackle them wisely. thank you for such a nice post. you are doing very well.

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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:37 PM

Thanks, Puneet.
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Aman Kashyap February 9, 2012 at 3:44 PM

Mavis,
You dealt with this in the right way. I will now use your formula of coping with them. First I used to get into an argue with them and sometimes had rude conversation in order to make them understand the point I put forward. And obviously if there is one negative comment out of hundred positive comments, I will not even bother to delete it. Thank you for your suggestion method of handling the negative comments, Mavis.

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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:49 PM

My pleasure, Aman. Glad you found this helpful :)

Best,
Mavis
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Hannah February 9, 2012 at 6:33 PM

One thing that I have found over time is that the Internet is just a negative place filled with a lot of hate. Why? I will never know!

What I have realized with some of my sites is that Facebook really takes away from being anonymous. Since people don’t want to go through the hassle of creating a fake Facebook account, most will avoid leaving comments.

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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 1:24 PM

People just have a lot time on their hands, going around and thrashing others.

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Joe February 10, 2012 at 12:45 AM

Hi Mavis,

I like the option of doing nothing. On the post you referred us to, you can see that the people who respect and admire you for your success as a blogger and the manner in which you have become so, has come to defend you. That seems 10X more powerful than the negative post, and becomes the thing that most people will remember long after they leave the post behind.

Thanks for a stimulating and informative blog!

-Joe
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Thanks very much, Joe. Agreed, the negative comment has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with the commenter now.

Best,
Mavis
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Adrienne February 10, 2012 at 4:12 PM

Hey Mavis,

I also think you handled this well and so glad we were able to come to your rescue and just voice our opinions with his negative comment. He still never “got it” which is why I told him, let’s just chalk this up to a lesson learned and move on.

I haven’t gotten any negative comments yet but I have been bashed in a blog post so I’m going to chalk that up as counting. I was not only shocked but mortified that someone would crucify me like that who didn’t know me at all. I couldn’t respond if I wanted because his comments were closed and he had no contact page or email available.

Like you, my friends came to the rescue and stood up for me so that helped and it was a huge lesson learned. Some people are just not going to agree with you or like you and there’s really nothing we can do about that.

As Ana said Mavis, we still love you. We know the kind of person you are and the content you share. You are always teaching us and we are all better bloggers because of it.

Have a beautiful weekend Mavis!

~Adrienne
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:46 PM

Thanks very much for your words of encouragement and for standing by me, Adrienne :)

I can’t believe someone who didn’t know you at all bashed you in a blog post. It must have been frustrating since you couldn’t comment on it or contact him. Man!

Well, there will always be people like that. We gotta keep doing what we’re doing :)

Have a beautiful one too, my friend!

Hugs
Mavis
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Oliver Tausend February 10, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Hi Mavis,

thanks for sharing this. Just recently, I got two very ugly comments on two YouTube videos. I just deleted them and blocked the user – and sent them light and love. I wouldn’t want to keep them…of course I see the honour of getting negative comments ;-)

Be blessed

Oliver
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Mavis Nong February 11, 2012 at 3:41 PM

You’re welcome, Oliver. Tell me about it, there will always be cyber-bullies out there unfortunately.

Best,
Mavis
Mavis Nong invites you to check..How I Went From a Struggling Marketer to a Marketing RockstarMy Profile

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Candice February 13, 2012 at 8:54 PM

Hi Mavis, It’s nice to be back. After being so busy last month. I agree with the items pointed out above. It’s also nice to learn that I could unsubscibe an email from my list if I get nasty ones. Anyway, I haven’t really started posting blogs but at least, I would know what to do in case I encounter them. Having a black sheep every now and then won’t mean anything, as long as you got plenty of good ones around. Nice day.

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Mavis Nong February 24, 2012 at 2:56 PM

Welcome back, Candice! Glad you found this helpful :)

Mavis

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Pritam February 14, 2012 at 8:51 AM

Mavis,

I have gotta hand it to you for handling negative comments. But being a blog owner myself, you have to be like a customer support guy, you have to help your readers, interact with them, make them feel special and cosy and at the same time make sure that no one leaves a bad word of mouth. Mind you I am a big fan of Word of mouth, I have seen companies make million just because they did good marketing and create a good word of mouth for an ok product.

Nice post, I bet this attracted alot of traffic. You don’t find a lot of bloggers talking openly about commenting.
Pritam invites you to check..Choose Your Affiliate Marketing Network From The List of Top 10 Affiliate NetworksMy Profile

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Mavis Nong February 24, 2012 at 2:54 PM

Thank you, Pritam. Welcome to my blog! :)

Best,
Mavis

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Daniel February 14, 2012 at 8:10 PM

A comment, even a negative, is a good result for the blog. The comment provokes discussion and traffic, and they are the main goals of the blogging!

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Mavis Nong February 19, 2012 at 9:46 PM

True, Daniel.

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Tyson Strange April 1, 2012 at 6:19 AM

Regardless of how bad the comment may be, humor will always win. Replying with a humorous line will show you that while you do appreciate comments when they are given, you also know when to play it cool. It also helps tone down any strong emotions that may be involved. Thanks to share your valuable post.

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Mavis Nong April 23, 2012 at 1:12 PM

Agreed, Tyson.

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